Sex and Spirituality

I was once going through a knowledge sheet where H. H. Sri Sri Ravishankar (Guruji) talks about love and lust. In love he says, even an object gets life. We name our vehicle, we talk to our toys, children draw sun with a smiling face :) . And in lust he says, even human beings become objects. Such a wonderful description of why lust bothers some people? Here I am not staging a dharna against lust. I believe that every aspect of humanity has its place in the creation. And food and sex being the most common impressions among all the species, lust has definitely played one of the most significant role in the way our world is designed today.

But what does lust really give you? Osho once said, "Is it sex that gives you the pleasure? Think about it. I do not want you to give up on sex. As a matter of fact, I would say meditate on sex." While I am yet to come  to a level where I can understand how to meditate on sex, I certainly loved to contemplate on what he said next. "Think about it, is it really sex that gives you the joy or is it the moment of completion of a desire that gives you the joy?" And I tried to relate it with every desire that I had so far. Is it my degree that gave me the joy or the moment of completion of the desire to graduate? Is it Rasagulla that gives me the joy or the moment of fulfilling a craving that gives me the joy? So while attempting to understand what he said, maybe this kind of material joy is simply filling up of a crevice or a craving.

So is it possible to live that crevice-free life? Is it wrong to have lustful feelings? I think it is perfectly normal to have these feelings. In fact if you are lust free then quite possible that there is some hormonal imbalance and you need some medical check up. But in such a situation how to keep a check on that craving? Is that craving really bad? Is it wrong if I crave for sex?

I am no guru to answer such questions. And most certainly sex is the only contributing factor for the survival of life on this planet (and I can fairly assume elsewhere too). Sex was never a trouble for mankind. It is sex that ferments into lust which eventually takes form of violence that create issues where people quit their day's work and come on streets hampering law and order. It is this form of violence that has the power to destroy generations of the victim's family. Well of course I agree that not everyone is curious to rape women. But then lust in milder forms encourages forced flesh trade where millions of girls everyday are crushing their hopes, aspirations, dreams and most importantly their self respect to satiate a man's uncontrolled desire.

Again agreed, it is certainly not that easy to curb your desires. And I am not even going to encourage that here. But I would certainly like to share certain insights that I have got in my spiritual journey so far. There are certainly spiritual ways in which we can keep a check on that energy. The life force energy entering into various chakras of our body vibrates our body into different emotions and feelings. One of these feelings being lust. Breathing techniques and meditation certainly help to channelize this life force energy in and out of various chakras. And from what I understand, a person meditating for many years gets a say over the flow of this energy. Imagine where you get to decide, what emotion should you be in rather than the situation dictating your emotions. Among various simple techniques that Guruji has suggested, one is taking cold water bath. Try it out, certainly helps.

What helps further is understanding lust from a broader perspective. Certainly lust is an unfulfilled desire. Once Guruji said, every desire eventually ferments into a botheration. And similarly, an unfulfilled desire of sex dwells into lust. Where does this desire come from? From a feeling of lack, from a space of 'I don't have something'. This feeling of lack gets one into grumbling mode. Isn't it? Do we like grumbling people around us? Do you think anyone would enjoy your company if you are in a grumbling mode? Hence certainly if someone is full of lust, s/he automatically exudes repelling vibrations. And then we have youth grumbling upon, "I don't have girl friend." "I am 20 and still a virgin." Why would someone like to get close to a person with such vibes? So what is an antidote to this unfulfilled desire?

Take your mind to the time when you had complete gratitude. Maybe for your parents, your teachers, your friends who helped you in a dire situation. If you cannot find such moments, think harder. Still if there is no trace of a single moment, then we certainly have a problem that needs quick attention. When we are in the moment of gratitude, we are full. We are complete. We notice no lack. There are no desires and hence no crevices to be cemented. It is this feeling of gratitude or contentment that empowers us to get over any negative feeling. It is indeed our way to tackle the Dermentors (Yeah! Harry Potter geek). So how to be in this energy of fulfillment, contentment and gratitude? Just keep counting your blessings. Be happy about the people in your life, the events that brought smile to you, the situations that made you brave. I would certainly encourage you to experiment on this and discover if there is any relation between this act and your unfulfilled desires.

The freedom of applying simple yet profound knowledge

Ever since I did my research on ill effects of cigarettes, alcohol and drugs on human body, I started loathing these aspects of human evolution. This happened to the extent that I started feeling uncomfortable and unnatural amidst such a company.

I always cherish the time I have in a party devoid of all this. The energy of that party is altogether different. It is so pure, so very enthusiastic. You can totally sense difference in both the environment. One seems to be pulling evolution down while the other clearly uplifts the spirit. I slowly started feeling why on earth do people get into these stupid activities! Why can't they understand that is something really bad for them and in turn for the rest of the world? All these thoughts cramped up the space in my mind when I used to sit in any such parties. It became increasingly difficult to be natural and interact with the same set of people with whom I used to spend most of the time before I did my research. Educating them did not work and their mockery to my sensibility fuelled my detachment towards them. At the same time I found it difficult to come in terms to the fact that these are my old time buddies and I cannot just be away from them. I was getting anxious about my straining relationships with them. I closed my eyes and asked for help from within. Sri Sri's soft voice made a soothing tune from inside while saying, 'Accept people and situations as they are'.

I opened my eyes with a smile. Yes they drink, smoke etc, so I just need to accept them as they are. This is how they are, these are their choices. I realised that I was loosing my peace of mind just because I didn't accept the fact that my friends are smoking and drinking. I realised that the real fight was on the question 'why?' "why are they doing this?" "why can't they understand what is good for them?" "Why can't they understand that this is spoiling the whole world?" Acceptance dissolved all the WHYs. And thus dissolved all the questions taking all the frustration with it. "OK, they don't understand. Now I have to make my choices instead of getting into whys."

This may seem like a common sense to everyone. But so many times in our lives do we crib over, "why my boss did this?" "Why can't my dad can't understand my dreams?" "Why my girlfriend always does this?" "Why does he always shout on silly things? " etc. And we end up being in agony. The way Sri Sri puts up this knowledge point, it becomes very obvious and yet something that we can easily apply in our daily lives easily with full awareness.

This piece of knowledge has helped me a lot to take faster decisions, crib less and move on quickly in situations like missing flight, traffic, unhygienic toilets, angry colleagues, work burden, bus delays and almost every daily life occurrence. For me this point has become the fastest way to instant piece of mind.

This is the beauty of the way Sri Sri delivers knowledge. It comes out when we need it. And not comes out in its best answer easiest form.

Once while working I got little scared of the amount of load on me. The anxiety didn't let me even start the work. I then remembered the steps Sri Sri suggested in such situations. First move away from desk. Relax. Break the work into smaller parts and execute one part at a time. I was able to finish that work very comfortably.

I make a point to watch at least one video of Sri Sri everyday. His knowledge is inclusive, it is something you can apply anywhere and everywhere. It is simple to understand, yet it is deep enough to understand the aspect from all situations.

The ease of managing stress

I knew the answers but couldn't remember them. The clock on the right hand side corner of the screen was trickling down faster than what it ideally should have . The stakes were high. "If I am not able to clear this exam today, I must forget my annual appraisal." Every minute spent in that exam center now mattered more than ever. But if I'm not able to remember these answers, it's a total waste of time, money and effort. "Why am I not able to remember these answers now? I studied them last night only."

I came to the awareness that stress is building up. And in stress you cannot do anything, remember anything and hence you cannot act productively on anything. I realized that I now need to take care of my stress first. I removed my shoes, got into the folded legs position over the chair, and started mudra pranayam. I knew that the security camera overhead was watching me, but at that moment clearing that exam was more important to me the anything.

The night before I had barely studied for an hour. Based on that I marched out towards the exam center. My biggest strength in the morning was my Guru - Sri Sri . I prayed to him that I should clear this exam. And I knew that he would answer my prayers. So I was not entirely surprised when only the questions I studied last night popped out in front of me. I was more surprised with the fact that I was not able to recollect the answers. Sri Sri always says that stress overshadows intellect. Fortunately I retained the intellect to invest my time in the mudra pranayam. It's because of those 5 minutes that I when I opened my eyes, I started remembering certain points and from those points I remembered all the answers. I cleared that exam and got a whopping bonus because of that.

I never knew that the knowledge of mudra pranayam can bring such a significant shift in my career. Breath is such a wonderful technique to take care of stress. People always knew this that long deep breaths take care of stress to some level. But which breathing technique can take care of what kind of stress is something I learned when I came to The Art of Living. These different breathing techniques help me when I get caught by cops, when I have to ask for a long leave, when I have to go and present something crucial, when I conduct my trainings, when I wait in the traffic for hours kissing the front car's bumper, when I sit patiently to a 8 year old's questions etc.

Apart from breathing Sri Sri's timely wisdom helps big time. Once during a Satsang, as if listening to all of my mind chatter, he said "Take all the mind chatter, collect it and dump it in the sea." A devotee from the satsang group needed clarification in this, "But won't that give us instant gratification in turn leading us to inaction. We would again have to pick up the matter to work on it." "OK, why do you have to eat again and again? " "Because the food gets digested and the I need more food. But that is a different context since that process gives me energy" " Aaah! Precisely, do you get the point?" and everyone in the satsang started applauding to the simplicity of the process to get that renewed mental energy to resolve our problems.

Earlier the only option I knew to take care of stress was desserts. I knew eating something sweet would take care of my stress. Today I have a platter in front of me that contains a variety of tools to take care of my stress.

My idea of h@ppiness

"Live life as an expression of happiness and not in the pursuit of happiness" stated Bawa in my first yes plus and I was blown away by this line. I so admired the movie 'In the pursuit of happiness' But somewhere I pondered is this state of frustration, agitation mandatory on the path to success? Why am I really here on this planet if I am supposed to go through that agony?

Everyone is doing some or the other thing for happiness. Some struggle to get decent job while some struggle to excel in it. Some strain hard to have a perfect marriage while some strain harder to get out of it. Some prefer to sit in the Himalayan cave while some prefer to booze in an urban cave. Rather every activity of the human race is in the pursuit of happiness. Sri Sri goes ahead in saying that every creature on this planet craves for happiness and peace. He chuckles further, "Those who want happiness, pray. While those of who forgot to pray invented alcohol." We pray for a variety of things. But those who pray for happiness and peace know the true essence of the being.

But this prayer also comes to soothe an agitation in our minds. So does this mean that life is journey of agitation? Because this agitation doesn't settle down until either our desires get fulfilled or the desires become insignificant. And by the time this desire settles in, a new desire takes up the space of agitation and frustration.

"What do you mean by that of course I am happy many a times!" I know this thought would pop up in your mind. You would naturally tend to think that your life is not as miserable as I am putting it here. Rather let's assume that your life is not miserable at all. Are to you smiling right now? When was the last time you had a hearty laugh! When was the last time you danced like crazy and sang irrespective of whether you have audience! When we laugh without reason, dance as if there is no one around and sing as if this is the last chance to sing we get in the state of natural self. If we meditate, we can harness that natural self. With meditation we get to comprehend our natural being. And as Sri Sri says, happiness and peace is the state of our being.

So while we look for happiness somewhere outside, happiness is actually deep within us. Thus meditation is the most reliable way to remain happy. When we are deep in meditation, we get close to what our true self is. The joy in meditation can only be expressed in gratitude people have after meditation. Happiness index is scientific term to quantify how happy a person is! And the person highest on this index so far is a meditator practicing meditation since past 30 odd years. Hence Sri Sri says joy is in this moment.

Coming back to the movie 'In the pursuit of happiness' Chris Gardner finally experienced the tears of joy at the end of the movie. It took him a long struggle to finally reach that state of mind. If he were meditating, he would have been smiling all through his path of success. Being happy brings equanimity in mind and balance in our thoughts and decision. We seldom need frustration to pump our efforts to get out of a miserable situation. But we certainly need joy to get out of misery. And where is joy? With you right now. Then why live life in the pursuit of happiness? Be little smart and live life as an expression of happiness.

The notes of stress beat

He was aloof, alone, sitting with his head down in the Ram Temple at Hyderabad. One of my friends, Kiran approached him and asked him to join us for the meditation centre. As a new project we started running free meditation centres at different places with an intention to reach out to people who are yet to experience meditation. We call this club as Meditating Monday. When I initiated this project in Hyderabad in the year 2011, I had no idea about the gravity of this idea until this boy decided to follow Kiran to the room where our team was conducting the meditation. A simple 10 minutes meditation and we could see wrinkled foreheads becoming soothing smiling faces. This is quite a regular experience for us now. People do recognise the peace within them during guided meditations by Sri Sri. All the participants hugged the volunteers and expressed their intention to join us again. This boy did not seem to move. When Kiran approached him, he hugged Kiran tightly and started crying profusely. "I was planning to jump from 6th floor yesterday. Today I came here to say my last prayers." He had no idea then there exists something in this world that can take him out of his depression.

If this is the impact of a 10 minutes meditation, then imagine what the unique breathing technique of Sudarshan Kriya can do to us. "Nice, but I'm not depressed, what can AOL do to me?" Comes a natural question. If a depressed person can get life then can you imagine what it can do to you. Because of all these techniques, normal people have become super dynamic and dynamic people have become instruments of change that are bringing waves of positive energy to masses.

In 2013 after the Uttarakhand floods, a team from Mumbai took out time from their busy lives with a mission to bring some change in people. My sister was a part of that team. Together the team of 8 boys and 5 girls in 8 days reached out to more than 800 people bringing peace in their minds and hope in their hearts. How is it possible to generate this level of dynamism from the otherwise dormant crowd?

What makes us inactive is the inability to handle stress. What really happens when we cannot meet deadlines at our work place? Assuming that the deadlines are reasonable, we tend to reduce our speed in the fight between focus and relaxation. When we get relaxed we lose focus. When we get focused, we get anxious leading to stress. Breathing techniques taught at The Art of Living really increase the focus and at the same time keeps us relaxed. Thus we get more productive leaving us ample time to do all the things  that we always wanted to do.

We start with full enthusiasm to learn a guitar. But soon the guitar becomes a wall hanging. We end up spending more time on things that we have to do. Focus comes on ways to earn money and how to survive in the rat race. When we delink stress from our lives, we discover the gaps in our day which we generally miss, since they get covered in anxiety, worry, regret etc. This newly discovered time gives us the opportunity to do things which we always wanted to do. Be it preparing for an extra curricular exam, learning Krav maga or taking up some kind of social responsibility. The Art of Living through its stress management programs have brought in vibrancy amidst so many people that today are leading lives much higher than their potential.

Thanks to these techniques that today we are leading lives that we want to live and not the ones that we have to live.